so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
