So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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