Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
