Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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