Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
