Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
We named our party play list daddy issues
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize