i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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