Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
