It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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