I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
