You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
