and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
