if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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