I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
