my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
