I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
