If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
