he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
