my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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