spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
