Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
