Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
