Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
