You really coming over, don't trick.
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
