this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
No subtext here. People are naked.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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