I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
