There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just found puke in my bra..
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize