We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize