The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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