You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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