what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize