I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
you made out with another girl for some wings
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
