dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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