I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
