every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
