Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
