got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
