Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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