Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
