i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
