names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
