yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
