well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize