she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
