Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
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