the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
