I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
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