i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
