I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
