No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
