There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize