real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
