i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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