remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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