roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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