the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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