Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
