And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
