i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
