He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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