Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
