My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
