Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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