and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
