I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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