i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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