I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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