I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
