Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
