So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
