Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
