peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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