thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
