Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
God, you're like boner-b-gone
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
