I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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