I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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