You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize